Phillipsburg, NJ - In a bold effort to increase public participation, Phillipsburg’s unofficial Committee of Committees is reminding residents that absolutely anyone can serve on a town committee, provided they’re related to a politician, married to one, friends with one, or have attended at least three of their family barbecues.
(It’s true. We read it on Facebook.)
“We welcome fresh faces,” explained longtime committee chairman Uncle Sal, whose last name is being withheld because The Burgshit’s legal department cannot afford another lawsuit.
Under the traditional selection process, applicants are evaluated on their experience, qualifications, community involvement, and most importantly, whether somebody on Town Council recognizes their mother.
Residents without political connections are encouraged to volunteer, attend meetings, and continue believing their applications are being considered.
Meanwhile, the same familiar faces continue rotating between boards, commissions, and committees like a municipal game of musical chairs where nobody ever loses a seat.
Officials of the Committee of Committees have announced a special committee to investigate why more residents don’t get involved.
The chairman’s brother-in-law has already been appointed.
This article is intended for satirical purposes only. If you choose to believe this bullshit, we welcome your readership, but seriously question your intellect.