Editorials
A Friendly Reminder from the Editor-In-Chief
Folks, just a friendly reminder that The Burgshit is SATIRE. We poke fun at Phillipsburg, its politics, its people, and most importantly, ourselves. We’re here to make you laugh...
THE ARCHIVES
A permanent record of everything we probably shouldn't have said.
Community
P.A.J.A.M.A. Moms Demand End to Bullying, Immediately Bully Everyone Who Disagrees
Phillipsburg, NJ - P.A.J.A.M.A. (Phillipsburg Association of Judgmental Adults Monitoring Absolutely-everything) has launched a crusade against bullying after several members...
Local News
P.A.J.A.M.A. Demands Equal Distribution of Construction Chaos Across Phillipsburg
Phillipsburg, NJ - With road crews still scattered across town today, P.A.J.A.M.A. (Phillipsburg Association of Judgmental Adults Monitoring Absolutely-everything) is demanding...
Editorials
A Little Note from Richie Taters
Well, I'll be damned. The Burgshit keeps growing, and apparently some of you are even enjoying it! We've seen a wonderful response overnight, and the continued growth, kind words...
Features
Phillipsburg Cow Building Sells for $1.76 Million, Reminds Town of its $2.5 Million Real Estate Masterpiece
Phillipsburg, NJ - A 31,000-square-foot warehouse dressed like a Holstein cow has sold for $1.76 million, proving there's money in Phillipsburg real estate if you know which end...
Local News
Phillipsburg Bridge Opens Day Early, P.A.J.A.M.A. Demands Investigation into Unexpected Government Efficiency
Phillipsburg, NJ - In a shocking development, the Black Bridge is reopening Thursday, a full day earlier than announced, leaving residents questioning whether somebody in...
Editorials
A Heartfelt Thank You from Richie Taters and the Burgshit
To our readers, followers, supporters, and the fine citizens of Phillipsburg, When I started The BurgShit, "Phillipsburg's #1 Source for #2 News," I had a simple dream: to give my...
Politics
Phillipsburg Riverfront Redevelopment Plan Promises Exciting New Era of Looking at the Same Damn River, Now with Helicopters
Phillipsburg, NJ - Phillipsburg Town Council officially approved the latest amendments to its Riverfront Redevelopment Plan on October 13, marking another historic milestone in...
Community
Phillipsburg Residents Finally Agree on Something: Everyone Moving Here is Ruining Everything
Phillipsburg, NJ - In a historic show of community unity, Phillipsburg residents have finally agreed that the town was a hell of a lot better before everyone else moved here...
Politics
Phillipsburg Committees Open to Everyone with the Right Last Name
Phillipsburg, NJ - In a bold effort to increase public participation, Phillipsburg's unofficial Committee of Committees is reminding residents that absolutely anyone can serve on...
Community
Phillipsburg and Easton Agree to Temporary Ceasefire so Children Can Collect Candy
Phillipsburg, NJ - In a rare display of regional cooperation, Phillipsburg and Easton are preparing to put aside generations of mutual contempt for the 44th annual Halloween...
Community
P.A.J.A.M.A. Pledges to Protect Phillipsburg's Sacred Winter Parking Chairs
Phillipsburg, NJ - With winter approaching, P.A.J.A.M.A., the Phillipsburg Association of Judgmental Adults Monitoring Absolutely-everything, has pledged to patrol town streets to...
Politics
Phillipsburg Introduces New Fee Schedule, Charges Residents Extra for the Privilege of Being Charged
Phillipsburg, NJ - On October 13, 2026, Phillipsburg Town Council adopted Ordinance O2026-27, a new fee ordinance featuring increases so impressive that inflation reportedly asked...
Features
Phillipsburg Absentee Landlords Form Black Fly Breeders Association, Declare Neglected Properties Essential Wildlife Habitats
Phillipsburg, NJ - A coalition of out-of-town absentee landlords has formed the Phillipsburg Black Fly Breeders Association, announcing plans to transform neglected rental...
Local News
Phillipsburg Officials Shock Residents by Revealing Facebook Comment Section is Not Police Dispatch
Phillipsburg, NJ - Town officials have delivered devastating news to Phillipsburg residents: Complaining on Facebook does not automatically summon the police. The revelation came...
Local News
Phillipsburg Criminals Blame Social Media Addiction, Participation Trophies for Disastrous 2026 Performance Review
Phillipsburg, NJ - A crisis is unfolding within Phillipsburg's criminal workforce after police reported just two shootings so far in 2026, compared to 14 during all of 2025. The...
Community
Phillipsburg Council Tries to Teach Parents Responsibility, Gets Sent to its Room to Think About What It Did
Phillipsburg, NJ - In a masterclass of accidental comedy, Phillipsburg Town Council attempted to teach parents about responsibility, only to receive a crash course from the very...
Local News
Masked Treasure Hunters Search Phillipsburg Vehicles for Legendary Lost Fortune of Warren County
Phillipsburg, NJ - Over the past two weeks, residents say home security cameras have captured two hooded, masked figures rummaging through parked vehicles. Several homeowners have...
Local News
Phillipsburg Unveils Six-Week Strategic Plan to Pick Shit up Off the Ground
Phillipsburg, NJ - In a bold demonstration of municipal efficiency, Phillipsburg has announced its 2026 leaf collection program, running November 2 through December 14, giving...
Local News
Phillipsburg Residents Demand Better Roads, Immediately Furious When Town Attempts to Fix Them
Phillipsburg, NJ - The Town of Phillipsburg has announced another round of paving beginning October 19, with 6 AM to 6 PM parking restrictions, triggering a full-scale emotional...
Local News
Black Bridge Finally Expected to Reopen, Phillipsburg Residents Already Pissed Off About It
Phillipsburg, NJ - After six months of detours and nonstop bitching, the Black Bridge is expected to reopen October 23, giving residents the horrifying prospect of having one less...