Phillipsburg, NJ - P.A.J.A.M.A. (Phillipsburg Association of Judgmental Adults Monitoring Absolutely-everything) has launched a crusade against bullying after several members discovered their children were experiencing the same behavior their mothers practice professionally on Facebook.
“Bullying is disgusting, and anyone who disagrees with me is a worthless piece of shit,” explained P.A.J.A.M.A. member Brenda Bitchowitz, shortly before attacking twelve people in a school-related comment thread.
The organization’s anti-bullying campaign encourages kindness, compassion and publicly humiliating anyone who questions its parenting advice.
One member reportedly demanded the school teach children respectful communication while simultaneously telling another mother to “shut your ignorant mouth” over a disagreement about lunchroom seating and bus stop etiquette.
Several were witnessed on one Phillipsburg Facebook page calling children names that zoo animals would find offensive.
And, if you’re like us, and begin questioning that behavior, the P.A.J.A.M.A. Moms have one message for all of us: “Mind you’re fucking business.”
P.A.J.A.M.A. has since claimed they adopted a zero-tolerance policy toward bullying, with exceptions for Facebook arguments, neighborhood gossip and anyone using the phrase “just saying” or “asking for a friend”.
Everywhere else in the world, their children are being taught to treat others how they’d like to be treated.
Their mothers apparently skipped that fucking lesson.
This article is intended for satirical purposes only. If you choose to believe this bullshit, we welcome your readership, but seriously question your intellect.