Phillipsburg, NJ - After years of residents treating public comment like a competitive contact sport, a local civic enthusiast has unveiled plans for a designated screaming room conveniently located nowhere near the microphone.
That enthusiast is Walter “Wally” Crenshaw, a lifelong Phillipsburg resident who has attended Town Council meetings for 20 years, convinced that eventually somebody might listen. After two decades of repeating himself, Crenshaw concluded his time would be better spent screaming at a cardboard cutout. “At least the cardboard guy looks disappointed,” Crenshaw explained. “That’s more emotion than I’ve gotten in 20 years. And he doesn’t tell me my three minutes are up.”
The proposed amenity would feature soundproof walls, a folding chair, and a framed photograph of a property tax bill. Visitors could select from three approved activities: yelling about parking, demanding someone resign, or beginning a sentence with “I’ve lived here my whole life.”
For an additional fee, participants could scream directly into a disconnected microphone while a cardboard council member stared at the ceiling.
The room’s inventor insists the concept could make meetings shorter, though critics worry it might accidentally become the most popular attraction in town.
A ribbon-cutting ceremony is reportedly being planned, but organizers are struggling to find anyone willing to hand a Phillipsburg resident a sharp object while discussing property taxes.
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