Phillipsburg, NJ - Bill Nelson went solar three years ago to escape $700 monthly electric bills. After learning a local company recovers aluminum and wiring from retired panels, he fears his next power outage will involve a ladder and somebody’s cousin with a pickup.
“I wanted to get off the grid,” Nelson said. “I didn’t want someone taking the grid off my roof.”
News of the company’s state recycling award has left Nelson wondering whether his investment in renewable energy could become someone else’s investment in a used e-bike.
He has since moved his security camera toward the roof, photographed every panel, and asked his insurance agent whether he’s covered if his solar panels leave in someone else’s truck.
His wife believes he’s overreacting.
Nevertheless, Nelson climbed onto the roof Saturday to check the brackets.
Within minutes, P.A.J.A.M.A. posted his photograph to the What’s Happening in Phillipsburg Facebook Page with the caption: “Anyone recognize this asshole?”
This article is intended for satirical purposes only. If you choose to believe this bullshit, we welcome your readership, but seriously question your intellect.