Phillipsburg, NJ - Phillipsburg’s newly formed Department of Adult Education has unveiled its first curriculum after reviewing community Facebook pages and determining that several arguments could have been prevented by finishing a sentence.
Classes include “Your and You’re: Neither Is a Threat,” “Reading Beyond the Headline,” and “That’s a Satire Page, Ma’am.”
An introductory workshop will teach residents to locate the time, date, and address on a flyer before commenting, “When is this?”
Online etiquette courses cover disagreeing without contacting someone’s employer and understanding that explaining an ordinance does not mean you personally passed it.
The advanced course, “I Was Wrong,” has no registrations.
Residents immediately demanded to know who approved the department, what it costs, and why nobody asked them.
All three questions were answered in the initial announcement.
This article is intended for satirical purposes only. If you choose to believe this bullshit, we welcome your readership, but seriously question your intellect.