Phillipsburg, NJ - After a full year of residents complaining about inaudible Town Council Facebook livestreams, The Burgshit has finally uncovered the truth. The audio equipment works perfectly. Council members have been silently lip-synching every meeting on purpose.
The elaborate scheme, dubbed “Project LIP SERVICE,” stands for Livestream Information Prevention Through Strategic, Entirely Rehearsed Verbal Expressions.
The discovery has stunned longtime meeting attendee Debra Kowalski, who claims the ordeal nearly destroyed her sanity.
“I bought three sets of headphones, replaced two laptops, called Service Electric seventeen times and had my hearing tested,” Kowalski explained. “Last Tuesday, I was screaming at my router in my underwear. Turns out these bastards weren’t even talking!”
The operation reportedly involved coordinated mouth movements, exaggerated nodding and pretending to debate important town business while sitting behind two lunch tables at the Phillipsburg Housing Authority.
Council considers the initiative a tremendous success.
For the first time in Phillipsburg history, residents spent an entire year begging politicians to open their mouths.
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